May contains celebrations for many different cultures. Cinco de Mayo, Beltane, May Day, Memorial Day, Mother's Day and, believe it or not, Hug Your Cat Day are all celebrated in May!
Many of us do not have what we would consider an ideal relationship with our mothers. This can make Mother’s Day a stressful situation, rather than something to look forward to or celebrate. In her article “A Mother’s Love”, Susan Jolley offers us her insight into this special relationship and ways to deal with it if it is not storybook perfect. Susan shares her personal healing experience and the crystals that helped support her along her way, such as Rhodochrosite, Pink (Mangano) Calcite, and Howlite.
Memorial Day is a holiday celebrated in the United States that honors the men and women who have died as members of the armed forces, providing service to our country. This month, Tara Mideaker gives us “Decorating with Crystals for Memorial Day”. Before it was declared a national holiday, Memorial Day was known as “Decoration Day” because of the flowers and other decorations placed at gravesites. Tara gives us several suggestions on how to decorate for this holiday, including using crystals such as Snowflake Obsidian and Amber for their positive and supportive energies.
Enter the code HCMAY10 when you place an order during May and you’ll receive three free crystals: a medium size Blue Aventurine, a medium size Red Jasper, and a medium size White Agate. This code also gives you 10% off, so now is a great time to order our Memorial Day and Mother’s Day mixes!
The Healing Crystals Team
Now, on to our Newsletter...
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A Mother’s Love
By Susan Jolley
I’ve always felt the relationship with my Mother was strained. Between daily “constructive criticism” and often bearing the brunt of her anger, regardless of whether it was deserved, I was torn between hating her and being willing to do anything to get her to love me. After years of these interactions I finally gave up; there was absolutely nothing I could ever do to make her accept me, much less love me. Mother’s Day became meaningless to me because every card I picked up was a lie.
Fast forward 35 years later and I was seeing so much of my Mother in me - the anger, the depression, the insecurities, wanting my life to just end - that I realized I had to do something. I was determined not to be like her. This started my journey of self-healing. I began making jewelry simply because I could never find anything that I really liked and somehow was always drawn to crystals. Then I started investigating the healing properties of the crystals that I was drawn to over and over again. Every single time their meanings were “right on” and shed some light on my past.
Fast forward again another 12 years or so and my feelings and attitude towards my Mother have changed drastically. What I have learned, and unequivocally believe, is that you can only teach someone else what you know. I saw my Mother with new eyes. Just as I had seen her in me, I saw me in her. Her mother was no peach, I had known that for years, but what I realized was that my Mother was the same injured and abused child that I was. With that realization, I realized that in turn, so was my Grandmother. That was the very moment that I was able to release the anger, bitterness, blame and hatred I felt towards both my Mother, Grandmother and all previous generations of women in my family.
This healing process has not been an easy one. The anger did not simply go away overnight, and I couldn’t understand why my Mother didn’t try to change the circumstances that made her feel so horrible. I came to realize my Mother’s lack of self-confidence and her fear of making a mistake stopped her from changing this cycle passed down through each generation in my family. If I was going to change this history, I had to let the anger change to acceptance. Not acceptance of the issues we had, but of the fact that she did the very best she could, that this was the only way she knew to show me love. I did not have to agree or like it, I just needed to understand it so I could move on.
Today, my anger has been replaced with acceptance, my frustration with patience, my lack of understanding with compassion and forgiveness, and my hatred with love and gratitude. My Mother did the job she was spiritually contracted to do by providing me with the lessons necessary to move me to the point that I am at in my life - knowing that my calling is to help others move through similar experiences and heal. This is not to say that she cannot push any buttons because she can. What has changed is what I see, how I interpret, and how I react in those moments.
Throughout my journey several crystals helped me reach the place that I am at today: Rhodochrosite (love); Chrysoprase (compassion); Pink Calcite (forgiveness); Chrysocolla (understanding, gratitude and anger); Howlite (patience, anger and grounding); Narmada River Shiva Lingam (letting go), and Apache Tears (grief and loss). I created and carry my own Mother’s pouch with these crystals to help me remember my lessons. I hope that through my Mother’s love for me and my journey, you will be able to find new ways of expressing your love for your mothers. However unconventional, she has been and is truly a blessing in my life. For my Mother, I love you and am so grateful to you for the sacrifices you made to get me where I am today. I have been blessed.
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Decorating with Crystals for Memorial Day
by Tara Mideaker
In the late 1800's, "Decoration Day" was established to commemorate those soldiers who had given their lives during the Civil War. The name derives from flowers and other decorative items that were placed on the gravesites. As we moved into the 20th Century, May 30th was set aside to memorialize all service men and women who had died while in the armed forces and Memorial Day was adopted as a National Holiday. This day has continued to evolve and today it serves as a remembrance of all those loved ones who have passed on. Celebrated on the last Monday of May, it also serves as the unofficial start of the summer season and is best known for parades, fireworks and, of course, barbecues.
There are many religions and cultures who believe that when we pass on from this life we move into the "Summerland" , a place of endless beauty and peace. It is interesting that, perhaps subconsciously, we have adopted a day where we remember those we have lost while at the same time welcoming the summer season. Throughout it's many evolutions, Memorial Day has always been a time to enjoy food and activities with our family and friends. Maybe the intent of this day was always about finding the joy in each of our lives - even while we mourn our losses.
Here are a few suggestions on how to use crystals to honor someone with your own "Decoration Day" tradition. Decoration means "to beautify or embellish" and crystals are one of nature's most beautiful decorations. The perfect crystal will remind you of the happy times while at the same time helping to you heal from your loss.
ALTAR: Creating an altar is a traditional and practical way to remember your loved one. Be sure to find a quiet place and insure that the focus of the space will be respected. Include items that remind you of your loved one. Photos, flowers, statues or knick-knacks, candles and even jewelry. Just be sure that the items you choose remind you of joyful times and how that person lived their life. You want this altar to celebrate their life more than a reminder that they are gone. Amber has a very strong life-affirming energy that will be a very positive addition to your memorial. It is a powerful healer and will enable you to manifest the happiest of thoughts and memories. Snowflake Obsidian is a very calming & supportive crystal that is particularly helpful when you are grieving. It's very appearance of black and white reminds us that there is a balance to life and that while it is ok to feel sad, it is just as important to remember how to be happy.
CEMETERY: While visiting a cemetery or final resting place of your loved one, a Rhodochrosite will offer comfort and compassion and remind you of the love that you shared. It will help to release any old, damaging emotions and enable you to move on in a positive light. Aqua Aura is a natural attractor for positive energy and promotes communications at all levels. You might want to leave a small Aqua Aura by the site to add beauty and enhance the energy of the area.
TAKE A TRIP: This is my favorite way to remember a loved one. My Mom passed away several years ago and recently we remembered her by going to one of her favorite places. It not only reminded me of the love and fun that we shared but also helped me to share the kind of person that she was with my son. It was a positive, life-affirming activity that left me smiling at the end of the day. I think that is how all of us really want to be remembered. So go out and have some fun! Go to the beach or the park or wherever you will have the best possible memories of the times that you shared with those that have passed. Carnelian is a powerful stone for really feeling the life that is all around you. It increases your personal power and physical energy while reminding you it's great to be alive. Amethyst will enhance your spirituality and help you to see the higher beauty and purpose in all things.
Melody, “Love is in the Earth, The Crystal and Mineral Encyclopedia.”
Judy Hall, “The Crystal Bible.”